maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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