You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
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I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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