never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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