That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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