Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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