i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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