i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize