well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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