I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize