i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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