You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize