is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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