No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize