I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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