You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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