just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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