So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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