Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize