ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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