So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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