the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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