You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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