I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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