I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who died my cat blue again?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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