he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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