you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize