her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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