Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is my gift to your gina
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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