u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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