Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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