Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
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Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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