i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We're too hungover to prance.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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