I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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