now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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