I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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