Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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