Sponge bath it is.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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