You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What a dumb baby whore.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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