Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize