After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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