No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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