Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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