We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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