he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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