you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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