I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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