How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize