I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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