About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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