So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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